Healing a soul
by Twilightdragoness
Summary: It's a short time after the Volturi have left, and while hunting Nessie and Jake find someone unexpected. A young girl with tragic past and a wounded soul. Can the Cullens heal her?
1. Chapter 1: New Life

Authors Note:

Twilight is owned by Stephenie Meyer. I own only the rights to my OC. This is written purely for the fun of it.

Those who have read my other works know that I only post the disclaimer once, usually in the first or second chapter, and feel that it should be obvious after that. I won't feel the need to repeat it.

This is an idea that has been in my head for over a year. I now feel confident of writing and posting this. I hope you all enjoy. I am setting the rating high for revelations that happen in later chapters.

Chapter 1:

New Life

Today was March 22nd and I was now 22. Some part of my mind had kept track of the passage of time while the rest of me fought against the burning in my throat the never ceased. I ran the memories through my mind again. Once the source of my nightmares, now they were the only things keeping me sane.

My life hadn't been a basket of roses. It had been a horror I had once desperately wanted to escape from. I'd gotten my wish. Now I wished I hadn't.

Today was March 22nd, and the snow that had entombed me for the last several months had almost completely melted. I would have to move again soon. Move to avoid causing harm to anyone. The peace of being buried so deep that no scent could reach me, had now come to an end.

I had stayed on the move for almost an entire year. Holding my breath in intervals for as long as I could stand to. Burying my face in the earth when I couldn't stand it any longer. The musky smell of mold, fungus, and loam over powering all other scents. Then, once I could control myself again, I'd move on.

I'd traveled far, I didn't know where too, and had eventually found myself in the mountains, somewhere. Here I had once again felt the need to breath, take in smells, and had pressed my face into the earth. By the time the need had passed it had been several days, and I had been buried deep in a high mountain snow fall. The snow had piled so deeply that all I could smell was the crisp tang of the ice and cold. So I had stayed, buried deep, safe from all temptation while the snow lasted.

But now the spring thaw had stolen that safety from me. I would need to continue moving again. Far from cities and roads. Far from hiking trails and camp sites. Far from anyone I could hurt.

I would not be a monster!

That had become the core of my will. The reason I replayed memories that once I had wanted nothing more then to forget. I had been the victim once. I would not be the cause of someone else being a victim. I knew the horror of it, deep in my soul, and it was not something I would ever be able to forgive myself of if I gave in and delivered that horror unto another. That gave me strength. Resolve. And I clung to it for all I had.

It was time to move, and so I stood up. At least I attempted to. When I tried to move my arm searing pain ripped through me. I tried to scream but found I was unable to make a sound. My voice frozen by the same unknown cause that prevented me from moving.

The thought that I had succeeded in starving myself to death passed through my mind. Though even should I be wrong in that assumption, I took solace in the fact that if I was frozen in place then I was no longer a danger to anyone. If I couldn't move, then I couldn't cause harm. That would be good enough.

But fate it seemed had other plans for me this day. For my solitary existence was broken not long after my discovery. I heard the gasp of indrawn breath from a small child near me, and before I could think otherwise I'd moved my eyes to look. It hurt, though they did move, it hurt. Like they were rolling across sand rather then my eye sockets.

I saw what I'd expected. A young girl stood at the edge of the trees, her hair was a rich bronze color and fell in ringlets and her eyes were beautiful shade of brown, she looked no older then five or six. She was lovely. I was insanely glad I couldn't move. Even gladder that the wind was wrong and I couldn't smell her. I hopped she'd flee and not come near.

The deep, angry growl of a wolf changed my mind. Suddenly I wished I could move, if only so I could protect her. The girl, however, seemed unworried by the nearness of the wolfs growl. I though it strange until the wolf prowled out of the trees and moved to place himself between the child and me.

It was huge. It had shaggy fur in a shade of rusty brown. It's teeth were long and sharp, I could easily see them because he had bared them at me as he growled. Not once did he take his eyes from me.

The child pushed against the wolf, as if to move him out of her way. The wolf gently pushed back, his stance and bearing clearly indicating he saw me as a danger and was not going to let her near me. I didn't know how this beast of a wolf had come to act as her protector, but I was glad he was. Had I not been unable to move I might have indeed harmed the child.

Had the wolfs demeanor not indicated that he wasn't afraid of me, what ever I now was, I'd have though it ridiculous that he might have stopped me. Further I had a feeling there was more to this wolf then I knew. He not only was giant, but seemed to know what I was and clearly believed himself capable of stopping me.

The girl, tired of being balked, put her hand deliberately on the wolf's face. She must have somehow communicated something as the wolf drew himself up and clearly shook his head in a negative response before returning to growling at me. With a sigh she turned towards the trees and stared fixedly at them. A short time later a man and a woman appeared. His hair was bronze and his eyes a deep topaz, her hair was a deep brown and her eyes were also a deep topaz, and I knew in an instant that they where the child's parents. If the similarity of their features wasn't enough of a clue, then the way the woman snatched up the child and held her protectively while the man took position in front to guard them would have been.

It was all very noble, and completely unnecessary. I was frozen in place. I couldn't even lift my arm. Of course there was no way I could tell them that. I was unable to speak either.

"How? How is that possible?" The man asked.

The wolf stopped growling and turned to look at the man. Something seemed to pass between them and the man spoke again.

"Somehow she's unable to move, Jake." He said. "I don't know how or why, but she's no threat."

The wolf returned to glaring at me. He didn't resume his growling, but the impression that he didn't trust, or like, me was clear.

Then the wind shifted and it brought me the scents of the family. The wolf repulsed me, even hearing his heartbeat, I felt no desire to attack him. The man and the woman smelled different, not an enticing smell, but not one that repelled either. The child however, smelled like a mix of perfume and food. Had I not abstained for so long I might have been able to handle it, as it stood, it was only my immobility that kept me in place.

At the same time that the smell hammered into me, the man snarled in anger, and I instinctively slammed my mind deep into my memories. I held on to that life line for all I was worth. It didn't matter that I couldn't move, I still fought against the dark impulse that threatened to overwhelm me.

I was snapped out of my memories by the sharp, horrified gasp of the man as he physically recoiled as if struck. He stared at me, eyes wide with horror and pity. I couldn't begin to guess why. It's not like he'd could have possibly seen my memories.

"Actually I can." He said. "It's my gift. I can read minds. I saw everything."

I'd kill him. Those were my memories, my horrors, they were not to be shared. No one was to ever know how I had suffered. It was my past and my burden. Not his. I'd kill him for that intrusion if I could. But I couldn't. All I could do is lie here and weep inside.

"I won't tell anyone." He said. "Not even my wife. I've had to keep many secrets like this over my long life. I promise this one will be yours to share when you feel ready."

I'd never feel ready. I could barely tolerate them. I wished I didn't need them to keep myself strong.

"My name is Edward Cullen." He said. "My wife, Bella." He indicated the woman behind him. I'd already guessed she was his wife. "This is our daughter, Nessie."

"Renesmee." The woman said in a tired tone. I guessed this was a long running debate about the child's nickname. Edward's amused half grin told me I was right.

"And lastly this is Jacob Black." He said with a motion to the wolf. The wolf looked at him with what I assumed was an annoyed expression. "OK. Fine. He prefers to be called Jake." Edward and Jake clearly had some animosity for each other.

"You have no idea." Edward said. This mind reading, while the only way I could communicate right now, was clearing going to get old, fast. Edward just sighed. "I'd asked Bella to shield you, but you are correct that at the moment this is the only way for you to communicate with us."

"Should I call the others?" Bella asked.

"Jake's already taken care of it." Edward told her. "He relayed to Carlisle through Seth. They're all on their way."

"That's good." Bella said.

I got the impression that Bella could shield herself along with others. Clearly Edward wasn't in her head.

"Not unless she lets me in." He said. "By default her own mind is always shielded."

'That must drive you nut's.' I deliberately thought at him. "You have no idea." He replied. Bella just smiled. She must have guessed what I'd though based on his reply. But Edward couldn't confirm that for me unless she let him, something I doubted she would do right now. "You catch on quick."

A brief flicker of anger flashed through me at his constant intrusion in my thoughts, but I let it go. I felt there would be no use holding a grudge when I was dieing. At least someone would know I'd existed.

"You're not going to die." He said. "Our kind don't age or die. We can be destroyed, if we are burned, but we can't die."

'Our kind?' I asked him.

"Vampires." He looked surprised. So did the others, especially the wolf, Jake. "You didn't know? Didn't the one that turned you tell you anything?"

My mind went back to that time a year ago. The bar. Getting drunk. The black eyed demon. The three days of fire. The hospital. My moment of temptation. Finding the will to resists. And my flight into the wilds. Edward rocked back a step as he once again stared at me. This time not in horror and pity, but in complete and total disbelief.

"How could you possibly have resisted?" He breathed. "You were in a hospital. There were dozens around you wounded and yet you managed to resist. To flee even. On your very first instant as a newborn."

"I did it." Bella said to him.

"Yes. But you were distracted by my presence." He said to her. "She was completely alone, with no idea of what she was, in a hospital ER, and she resisted."

The child, Nessie, put her hand on her mother's cheek. What ever passed between the two of them Edward picked up on. "You are right. We should ask her that." Bella said. She focused on me, "Renesmee would like to know your name."

'Michelle. My name is Michelle.' I left out my family name. I wanted nothing to do with the person it had been attached to, or with it.

Edward relayed my response, leaving out my reason for not giving my last name. Before they could ask why I'd left out my last name, six other people, and another giant wolf, came out of the trees. I scanned over each of them, noticing features. Each different, each beautiful, in their own way, and they all had the same topaz colored eyes.. Edward greeted them and then made introductions.

"This is my father, Carlisle," he said indicating a tall blond man with a warm smile, his eyes curious. "And my mother, Esme." He introduced the woman with brownish blond hair that reminded me of caramel. Her eyes were warm and she seemed eager for something.

"These are my brothers and sisters, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper." He pointed at each in turn.

Alice had short black hair that stuck straight up, she was smiling and looked excited about something. Rosalie had long blond hair and was staring at me indifferently. Emmett had hair that was a deep brown. A year ago I'd have mistaken it for black, but not now. He was huge, but his eager smile kept him from appearing threatening. Lastly I looked at Jasper. He had blond hair and his expression was reserved. I got the impression he was wary of me but I had no idea why. He was covered with crescent shaped scars and I was instinctively scared of him.

My fear quickly passed into a feeling of calmness. "Jasper, don't." Edward said. The feeling faded and I guessed that Jasper had something to do with it. "His gift is to feel and manipulate emotions." Edward explained.

"Lastly this is Seth." Edward introduced the other giant wolf, this one's fur was a sandy color.

'Tell them I say hello.' I thought.

"Everyone," Edward said. "This is Michelle. She say's hello."

"Fascinating." Carlisle said. "She's really gone so long with out blood that she's immobile. Even I didn't last so long."

"It's even more impressive when you learn that after being bitten she was taken to the ER." Edward said. I didn't mind him sharing this more recent tragedy, as long as he kept the other one to himself. "Don't worry. I promised."

"She awoke in an ER." Jasper said. "How did such a massacre not make headlines?"

"She didn't kill anyone. Like Bella, she managed to resist and flee." Edward explained.

"Impossible." Jasper shook his head in denial, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Woah! Really?" Emmett said excited. "We have another tame one."

"She'll be staying with us." The little Alice said. "I've seen it."

I had no idea what she meant. But before I could ask Carlisle approached me. I mentally recoiled from his approach. I didn't trust him. I didn't trust any man, not after what happened, and especially not while I was immobile and helpless to defend myself.

"Carlisle. Don't." Edward said to him while gently holding him back. Carlisle looked at him, and a silent question passed between them. Edward just shook his head, "I promised not to share what I'd seen. I'm sorry. Just accept that she has some... trust issues."

"Was she..."

"Rose!" Edward interrupted her. "Don't."

'Damn it!' I snarled in my thoughts. Even with him saying nothing they were guessing really close to the mark.

"Look. Before we do anything else," Edward began. "We need to get her some blood. She's already reacted badly to Renesmee's scent."

"Was that when you looked like you were about to attack her?" Bella asked.

"Yes."

"Oh. Then perhaps the wolves should take her home. It'll be safer once she's hunted."

"Jake? Seth?" Edward asked them. The wolves looked at him and a silent answer was given. Edward took Renesmee and gently placed her on Seth's back. Jake huffed, and Seth managed to look guilty, but all Edward said was "Deal with it."

The wolves took off, carrying Renesmee with them, and the Cullen's stayed with me. Emmett and Rosalie quickly hurried off, and Edward took a few cautious steps closer. He stopped before I could feel threatened by his nearness.

"My siblings have gone off to find something for you. I understand you don't want to harm humans, we don't either, but do you have any problem with a substitute?" He asked me.

'What do you mean?' I asked.

"We only drink the blood of animals." He said.

"We think of it as being vegetarian." Bella said coming up to me. I didn't mind her approach. I trusted her, if only because her protectiveness of her daughter reminded me of my own mother. "Is it OK if I come over?"

"She trusts you, Bella." Edward said.

"But you can't say why, because you promised. Right?"

"Yes." He smiled.

'Why didn't Jasper go with the others?' I asked curious. Jasper hadn't taken his eyes off me. It was as if he was expecting something. I just didn't know what?

"Jasper has a lot of experience with new born vampires. That is vampires that are less then a year old. He keeps expecting you to jump up and attack."

'Oh. OK.' I thought. 'Now what do you mean by animals?'

"We only drink the blood of animals." He explained. "You don't have a problem with that, do you? It shouldn't be too much different then eating meat was as a human."

I took that in and thought about it. It made a certain kind of sense. I had eaten meat. I didn't see it as immoral or monstrous. Had I known it had been possible I might have actually sought out an animal to quell the burning.

"She's OK with it." Edward told the others.

"OK now that that's settled," Alice filtered over to a tree and back. She was holding a garment bag on her return. I assumed she'd placed it there a bit ago as if she hadn't I'd have no idea where it came from. "Can we please get her out of what's left of that hospital gown and into something respectable?"

Wait? What? I couldn't follow this sudden change.

"You, you, and you. Go over there and stop gawking." Alice told the three remaining men. Carlisle, Jasper, and Edward all went off into the forest where she pointed. "Esme? Bella? Could you give me a hand?" She unzipped the garment bag to reveal a delicate satin dress in a soft pale blue.

I freaked. I'd never worn something like this. It wasn't allowed, not for me anyways, it was such an ingrained fact of my life I never even changed it after that horror had happened.

"Alice." Edward called from the trees. "Something else."

"I didn't bring anything else." She called back. "Besides I've seen her in it and she looks lovely. And seeing as she'll one day tell us I know her problem with it, she'll get over it."

'Edward! What does she mean by that?' I demanded.

"Alice's gift is to see the future. It's a bit subjective but if she sees something it happens." He called back.

"And I clearly see you joining our family and telling us your whole story, eventually. But don't worry I can keep a secret just as well as Edward." She said. "Now. You are a beautiful woman and you can and should be proud of it. You don't need to hide that fact anymore. We aren't going to be like 'that!'"

I wasn't sure how to respond. With Edward it had felt like an intrusion into my privet past, but for Alice who's gift was to see that I would tell her myself left me feeling confused. Should I be mad that she knows or just accept it because I'm the one that told her. I realized that this whole visions of the future gift was going to take some thinking on.

"You never do get used to it." Edward called out.

Alice leaned over to lift me to a sitting position. My body was so against moving that even when I wasn't the one doing it I was in agony.

"Alice! Stop!" Edward yelled out.

"Now we'll have none of that. Trust me you'll look fine." Alice told me completely misunderstanding.

"It isn't that," Edward called out. "Moving is painful for her right now. She feels like her body is ripping apart."

Alice froze to stillness. Holding me in a half sitting position. The pain didn't fade. Esme gently slid under my raised back and took my weight.

"Don't worry." She said kindly. "We'll get you fixed up."

"I'm sorry." Alice said. "I was looking too far ahead. I missed seeing that you needed to get blood first. Rose and Emmett will be back in just a few moments. Then you'll be OK."

Alice's gift proved to be as accurate as the others had said. Rosalie and Emmett returned shortly, bringing with them several rabbits, a deer, and a grizzly bear.

"I so wanted this for myself, but Rose said you need him more." Emmett said as he dropped the bear on the ground near me. "Enjoy."

"Emmett, go over with the other guys." Alice instructed as she grabbed a rabbit. "I'm sorry but this is going to hurt. I have to pry your mouth open."

She was right it did hurt. I wanted to scream. I think I might have too. At least no one heard it.

"I think the worst is over now." Edward said to one of the others. He didn't say it loud but I still heard him. I was reminded again about his mind reading. He'd been the only one that heard me scream.

Alice took the first rabbit and ripped open it's throat. She held it over my mouth and let the blood drip in. I could feel it absorb into my body almost as fast as it came. As it did the residual pain from her moving me started to fade.

By the time they gone through all the rabbits I could move on my own. I was a bit stiff, but moving no longer caused me pain. I was able to drink the blood of the deer on my own when they brought it over to me. After it was done I couldn't even hold myself back from the bear. The blood, all of it, tasted so sweet. It was the best thing I'd ever tasted.

"Huh." I heard Edward muse. "I think the taste for you is enhanced because you abstained for so long. We usually find it lacks something."

Maybe it did, maybe it didn't. If abstaining for so long made this optional diet taste better from my point of view then I wasn't going to complain. I could accept this alternative. It would allow me to survive and be able to live with myself. I couldn't ask for more.

"Now that you're fed, let's get you cleaned up." Alice said. "Come here."

"Do I have to?" I asked, finally able to speak for myself again.

"Yes." Alice said as if it was a matter all ready decided and no longer up for debate.

"Trust me. You won't win." Bella said. "I've tried."

"That's because I was right about how good you'd look." Alice said. "You shouldn't fight so hard against the inevitable Bella. And you shouldn't either." Alice held out the dress to me. "Well put it on!"

I didn't quite have the heart to tell her that I had no idea how. I'd never worn a dress before, never even seen one if the truth be told. I'd been forced to wear cast offs that were no longer wanted by him. Most so torn and thread bare that they were barely clothes anymore.

"You're going to have to help her, Alice." Edward said. That was getting on my nerves. I could move now, and speak for myself, I didn't need him poking around in my head anymore. "Bella. You can shield her now."

I don't know what I expected to feel when Bella shielded me, but I felt nothing. I wasn't even sure it was working until I pictured Edward in the dress and he made no response. Cool.

"OK. So how does this work?" I asked Alice. I was still against the dress but seeing as the alternative at this point was to be naked, I'd wear the forbidden garment until I could change into something else.

With lot's of explanations, and assistance, from Esme, Bella, Alice, and Rosalie I managed to get the dress on. I was shocked with how well it fit, and even more so with how, strangely, right it felt.

"I wish I'd been able to see your arrival." Alice complained. "Then I could have had something that fit ready. But I couldn't see you completely clearly since it was Jake and Nessie that found you." I looked at her confused. "I can't see the future when shifters or hybrids are involved, because I can't see them at all."

"Shifters? Hybrids?" I was completely lost.

"The wolves are shape shifters." Bella explained. "And Renesmee is a vampire human hybrid. I gave birth to her when I was still human. I only survived because Edward turned me into a vampire."

I was sure there was more to the story, but I would worry about it later. At least now I knew why the wolves had acted so oddly. It made perfect sense if they were shape shifters. A human mind would account for their actions. I was briefly shocked at how quickly I came to accept them as such too, but then if vampires were real, and seeing as I'd just drank a whole mess of blood I had to accept that, then the shifters weren't that much of a stretch either.

Even the child's description didn't shock me. When I'd lived briefly with my aunt I'd had to do a lot of catching up to get my GED. I'd never been to school before. Once I'd learned to read I'd taken a liking to fantasy in an attempt to escape my nightmares. I'd especially enjoyed books about vampires and how they seduced humans. It was fuzzy but I remembered one book that had been about a child of a human and vampire. I couldn't remember much of the book but I did recall what the child's race was.

"So Nessie is a dhampir then?" I asked Bella.

"A what?" She asked shocked. She apparently wasn't the only one. I'd shocked all the vampires present with my question.

"A dhampir. It's the name of the mythical race that is born from a human and vampire union." I said. "I read about it in a fantasy book once. It's hazy, but I do recall that." I looked around. "You didn't know that?"

"Well that might explain why we couldn't find anything about her when we were looking." Carlisle said. "We weren't looking in the right places."

"This is all well and good," Alice said. "But let's get her home. We can talk more about this later."

They all agreed. All except Jasper. "Do you think you need to hunt more?" He asked. "You have to be really thirsty still."

"I am, but I also feel full." I told him. "I might need to hunt again soon, but not until what I just drank settles. If that's the right word."

"It fits." Emmett said coming towards me. His arms were open, maybe to hug me, maybe to hold me down. Either way, not gonna happen. I skipped back from him and lowered his arms looking crestfallen. "I wasn't gonna hurt ya."

"Just let her be for now Emmett." Edward said.

"Come on." Alice said. "Follow us." And she took off running. The others quickly followed. Only Esme stayed behind, waiting for me to follow.

"I don't know what happened to you in the past that hurt you so much." She said putting her arms around me. "But you are welcome to join our family for as long as you want. Come on, everyone's waiting."

I nodded, and together we ran after the others.


	2. Chapter 2: Esme

Authors Note:

Sorry for such a long delay on this one. I had some personal issues to deal with that have left me unmotivated to do any writing recently. So all of my stories, written and unwritten, have suffered. I feel that I should make an attempt to get back in to this as it is one of the major sources of enjoyment for me. I love writing and I'm glad you all enjoy my creativity. Thanks to all of you.

Chapter 2:

Esme

I don't know how far we gotten when I felt the need to stop. What blood I'd already had had now settled and I wanted more. Esme ran on for a short way but quickly noticed that I was no longer with her and she soon returned to where I was.

"Are you okay?" She asked me.

"Um," I commented.

"You need to hunt again, don't you?" She asked me with a warm smile. "Don't worry. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

I wasn't sure how to respond to her so I just nodded. She smiled again and deliberately breathed in deeply. It took her a bit but soon she seemed to find what she was looking for and told me to follow her.

She took off at a right angle to the direction we had been traveling and I hurried to keep pace. We didn't go far before she stopped again. I came to a stop next to her and was about to ask her why when she pointed.

In front of us was a small herd of deer. A large adult buck, a pair of doe's and a young male with.

"Can you smell them?" Esme asked me softly. I breathed in and found I could. The scent was warm and rich and I wanted to lunge out and grab them. Esme held me back. "Easy. You don't want to startle them."

I nodded and held my place. I had survived an entire year with out. I could control myself and listen to what she told me. "The four you see are not the only ones here. Look over there," she pointed to one side, "And there." She pointed to the other.

I looked closer and my stronger eyes easily picked out another dozen deer of various ages and sexes. I noticed they seemed skittish, as if they knew a hunter was near, and had become much more alert.

"We can catch them easy though." I said. "So why worry about startling them?"

"True we can." She said. "But it's best to take them quick so they don't suffer."

"Oh." I could accept that. I could deal with the necessity of hunting animals for food, but being needlessly cruel was just monstrous.

"Now you can either just bite them and drink or, if you prefer, you can break their neck first." She told me.

I nodded again. I'd take the second option. Seemed kinder in a way. I crouched down.

"Now pick the one you want so you can go right for it." I nodded and chose an older looking male with large antlers. "Easy. Patience. And go." Esme's voice was a whisper on the breeze but I heard it clear as day and I sprung. I covered the distance in two short, easy bounding strides and caught my target before he even knew he was in danger.

I broke his neck quickly and then bit down on his neck. Fur, fat, and muscle offered no resistance to my teeth and his warm blood flowed into my mouth. I could feel it as his blood once again tamed the fire that burned in my throat, but it wasn't enough to fully satisfy me. I had gone too long without and even this was still not enough.

Esme had guessed as much for she had brought down an extra pair of deer. I was grateful, and quickly drained them as well.

I didn't notice until after that my face was covered in blood. I had managed to keep it from spilling onto my cloths, not that I cared about the dress over much, I still wasn't completely comfortable in it truth be told, but I didn't want to look like I'd just committed a murder.

"I must look a mess." I said.

"Don't worry. We all looked like that our first time." Esme told me. "There's a river nearby. We can get you cleaned up there. And it will give Alice and the others more time."

"Time for what?" I asked not pleased with knowing they were planing something.

"To get a room ready for you." She said. "I don't know if you'll stay with us permanently yet."

"Alice seems sure." I said mildly annoyed.

"Well you might, you might not, I'm not Alice. I won't try to trick you or force you. Just know she means well and often tends to get ahead of herself."

"That due to her seeing the future?" I asked.

"Yes." Esme was still smiling.

"And what do you want?" I asked her more politely. I was curious and I didn't try to hide it.

"Well, I'd like for you to stay with us. I'd like for us to be a new family for you, and for you to feel at home." She said.

"Why?" I asked completely lost.

"Let's go to the river." She said. "I'll explain while you get cleaned up. I also think you might need to hunt at least once more before we return to the house."

I nodded my agreement to that and she led the way. As she had promised the river wasn't far away and while I got cleaned she told me her story.

"I was born just before the turn of the the 20th century, and grew up on my family's farm. My life was normal, for the time period, and I grew up happy. I first met Carlisle when I was sixteen. I'd broken my leg falling out of a tree I had been climbing."

I shared a polite laugh with her. I had gotten all the blood off by this time and so I joined her on the bank of the river and continued to listen.

"Well I was impressed with him right off. Even though he was only passing through at the time I never forgot him. It was a few years after that when my parents arranged a marriage for me to a man a few years my senior named Charles Everson. I'd wanted to become a teacher, but my father felt that was not a job for a lady, and so I agreed to the marriage to keep him happy."

"Did you love him?" I asked.

"No. I didn't love him, but at the time I didn't hate him either. I knew of him, or thought I did, and was mostly just indifferent. I learned the hard truth of him after marring him."

"How bad." I asked softly.

"He was abusive, physically. I tried to get my parents to shelter me, but they just told me to keep quiet and be a 'good wife'. It was such a relief when he went off to the war."

I felt something like sand between my fingers and looked down. I'd unknowingly ground a rock to powder during this part of Esme's story. Esme noticed and her eyes filled with sadness as she looked at me.

"I see. It's like that." She said to me.

"Yeah. It's like that." I responded.

She put her arms around me, and held me tight. "I understand."

"Thank you." I said. "But please continue."

"Alright. There's not much left to tell. Once he returned from the war it was a nightmare. I soon found I was pregnant and that was the motivation I needed to flee him. I would not bring a child into his house. I stayed with a cousin and became a teacher like I'd wanted to. He found out where I was and so I left again and posed as a war widow, there were plenty at the time and it wasn't looked down on."

"Your husband died with honor for his country and all that?" I guessed.

"Basically. In due time I had a son, but he died two days after birth of lung fever. I felt I'd lost everything. I'd given up everything to bring him into this world and to loose him destroyed me. So I went to a cliff near the edge of town and jumped off."

I gasped. "Why? You could have tried again or something?"

"I was to lost in despair to think clearly. Anyways I woke up some time later in terrible pain. It passed soon and Carlisle was there. He'd found me after I'd jumped and had saved me the only way he could. He asked me to forgive him and I did. I'd never forgotten him and eventually we married. I've never regretted it."

"I guess that's good." I said. Really though I wasn't sure how I felt about it all. She didn't seem like someone that had lost everything.

"What?" She asked in a knowing tone, never loosing her smile.

"Just how did you accept it so easy. Just before you said that you'd felt like you lost everything."

"I'd had feelings for Carlisle ever since he'd taken care of me when I'd broken my leg. And after I'd gotten used to my new life I took to Edward like he was a son. As each new member has come in they've all come to think of me as their mother, so I guess I do have the family I always wanted and that has warmed my heart."

"But after what happened with your human husband how do you trust anyone close to you?" I asked. "I just don't understand how you can get past something like that."

"By knowing that Carlisle is not the same person he was. Carlisle would never do that, it's not in his nature." She said. "I know that here," she pointed to her head, "And especially I know that here." She pointed to her heart.

"I guess I'll just need some time then." I said. "So really why do you want me to stay? I get that you wanted a family, but you have one now. So why me?"

"I don't mind a big family. I have enough love for them all." She said. "So though I can't be your human mother, I wouldn't mind being your vampire one."

"I don't know." I told her honestly. "Can I think about that?"

"Take all the time you need." She replied. "Just can you please stay long enough to let us help you get settled into this new life. We can help you with that much at least."

I didn't have to think long on that. My mind was quick and agile and now that I wasn't focusing so hard on not hurting anyone I found I could think about lots of things. I gave myself a mental shake as I brought my mind back to the question at hand. Would I stay with the Cullens? At least long enough to learn the ropes as Esme put it. I decided that would be reasonable. I nodded.

"Wonderful. So what can you tell me about yourself?" She asked. I glared back. I wasn't sharing my past. "Oh just something small that you don't mind that much about."

"Today would be my 22nd birthday." I said. That was as much as I would give her for now.

"Oh. Alice is going to be so upset she didn't know. She loves parties."

"My birthday isn't something that I want to celebrate." I said. "It's the day I came to hell."

"Well not anymore." Esme said. "One of the things I want to do for you is try to show you that in this new life you can be anything you want and that you no longer have to hold on to your old fears."

She had a big heart. I could tell. No matter how I tried to keep her at a distance she just went with it and tried to cheer me up. It was subtle but pervasive, this feeling of being welcome and wanted, only my mother had ever had it for me before. I felt myself warming to Esme even though I kept telling myself to not get too attached, that this arrangement would only be temporary.

"Are you ready to head home or do you need to hunt again?" She asked.

"I think I need to hunt one more time." I answered honestly. "After that I'll follow you to your house. For now."

"Okay." Esme said still smiling. I'd be annoyed at that if not for the fact that her smile for me was genuine and from her heart. It was hard not remember to not let it get to me. It just made me feel something I'd only had from one person in my life before.

Loved.


	3. Chapter 3: New Home

Authors note:

So terribly sorry to make everyone wait for me to write the next chapter here, or write anything for that matter. So thanks to everyone for being patient with me.

Chapter 3:

New Home

After I finished hunting one last time I followed Esme as she lead me to the Cullen house. I'd been expecting something dark and closed in. So this beautiful three story house with a back wall composed of three floors of glass was a surprise.

"Not what you were expecting, is it?" Esme said with a smile. "Bella reacted the same way."

"It's just so... bright." I said.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Alice called out from the back door on the ground floor.

"Come on." Esme encouraged me.

I followed her slowly. Nervous about the reception I was about to receive, I paused just out side the back door and took a moment to ready myself before stepping into a nicely appointed living area. To my left was the kitchen and a small dining area and to the right was a curving flight of stairs leading up to the next two floors as well as a grand piano on a small raised area.

A giant of a man came out of the kitchen followed by a slightly shorter teenage boy. They were both clearly of Native American decent, but what really caught my attention about them was they were both holding a plate with a foot and a half long sandwich that was already partially eaten, a jumbo size bag of potato chips, and an open two liter bottle of soda that was half empty.

"So this is the new stray you've all taken in, huh?" The big one said.

"Like you're one to talk about stray's, dog." Rosalie snapped at him.

"No fighting, children." Esme told them. "Jake, Seth. Sit at the table while you eat."

The younger boy was quick to do so but the tall one let out a huff before taking a seat as if it had been his intention to all along. Esme quickly darted into the kitchen and back out carrying to glasses which she set down in front of the two. "And use a cup please, it's good manners."

"The tall one is Jake, and the younger one is Seth." Edward told me having picked up on my confusion in his annoying way.

'Do you mind?' I thought at him.

"You've already met them back in the forest." Edward finished explaining with a smirk I assumed was directed at my mental comment.

"Yup." Rosalie said. "They were the dogs if you were still wondering."

"Jake." Bella warned him as he opened his mouth to make a reply.

"Come on, Bella. You can't just expect me to sit here and not say anything back." Jake complained.

"We have a guest, so for now, yes I do." She told him. "You as well please, Rose."

"Well only because you asked nicely." Rose allowed.

"Is this normal." I asked Esme.

"More or less." Alice answered instead from right next to me. "Now come on we need to wash the rest of the mud off you. You got some of it I see but there is a whole lot more to go."

At her words I really looked down at myself for the first time in a year and noticed she was right. My arms and legs were covered in a thick layer of dried mud with some leaves and twigs here and there. Pulling a lock of my hair down to where I could see it showed me a lot more of the same. My hands were clean from my brief wash session in the river, along with my face and some of my neck, but that was clearly the tip of the ice burg here.

I needed a shower bad.

So when Alice pulled me towards a large, well appointed bathroom and pointed to the shower big enough for four, I didn't argue. It took several applications of soap to get the layers of mud off my skin and almost as many washings to get it all out of my hair. Once done I stepped out and looked at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were now a washed out topaz, I hoped they'd darken to a full topaz like the other Cullen's in time, and my hair was pink. I couldn't describe it any other way. Before a year ago it had been mostly blonde with only palest tinge of red, now the red and blonde had some how mixed and brightened and turned pink. Thankfully it was a soft pale pink that didn't look to bad on me.

"Much better!" Alice chimed as she opened the door and waltzed in.

I screamed and quickly grabbed a towel. "Do you mind!"

"Oh don't worry. We're both women," Alice said as she pulled out another garment bag and a hung it on a hook attached to the wall. "And I made sure the guys knew to stay out."

"That does not make it OK!" I snapped.

"Sorry about the blue dress earlier." Alice said completely ignoring me. "I should have looked farther ahead to see your real hair color. I though it was brown but I realize now that was just the mud." She unzipped the bag to reveal a very soft green dress. "Green goes better with any shade of red after all."

"I am not wearing that." I told her flatly.

"But..."

"No." I cut her off before she could get going. "For one thing it's a dress, and for another I will not look like Christmas, ever."

Before she could reply we both turned to look as the sound of footsteps approached the door. I suddenly felt embarrassed about having been so distracted earlier that I'd missed hearing Alice approach.

There was a soft knock at the door followed by Bella's voice. "It's just me, Bella, Can I come in?"

"Sure." I answered before Alice could object.

Bella entered carrying a pair of jeans and a white cotton shirt. I gave her a hug with an emphatic 'Thank You,' attached and quickly started to get dressed.

"Bella." Alice complained. "You're not helping. I though we were sisters."

"Edward may not have told me all the reasons why, but he did make it clear that her aversion to dresses is well founded." Bella told her. "I'll admit that I just don't like them but Edward was quite insistent that Michelle here had a much different reason that we should respect."

"But she'll look so good in them. I've seen it." Alice's expression made me feel like I'd just kicked the proverbial puppy.

I sighed. "Alice. How about we compromise?"

"What did you have in mind?" She asked.

"We go in slow steps." I said. "Let's stick to things I'm comfortable in and add one accent that's a bit out side my comfort zone. Like a belt, a necklace, a bracelet, or shoes. And once it get's to the point that I'm picking out that stuff myself you add something else new."

Alice's eyes went distant for a moment then she jumped up and dashed out of the room. When she came back she a pair of bracelets. One had bright blue sapphires and the other bright red rubies. She quickly snapped the sapphire one around Bella's wrist and then offered me the ruby one. I slipped it over my left arm while Bella glared at Alice.

"What do you think you are doing?" Bella demanded.

"Her idea will work for you too." Alice said smugly. "I've seen it so don't argue. It's small and simple and in time you'll get used to it."

"Alice!" Bella groaned.

"I'm sorry." I told her. "I didn't think she'd do that to you too."

"I do reserve the right to pick out clothes for both of you on special occasions." Alice said.

We both looked at her. "Define special occasions." Bella told her.

"Like anniversaries, holidays, and of course birthdays." Alice said looking right at me at the end.

"How did you know?" I blurted out before stopping to think.

"Because you just told me." Alice said with a smile. "Now you will wear the dress to the party."

"Not that color." I countered.

Alice looked thoughtful for a moment and then nodded. "Don't worry I have something in red that I know will look good on you."

I noticed Bella slowly sliding out the door, clearly hoping to be gone before Alice remembered she was there.

She had no such luck as Alice turned to her with a sweet smile and quickly moved to block her path. "I also have something in mind for you too so don't think you're getting out of this, Bella."

"Alice. It's not my party." Bella tried.

"You're still going to look nice for our new family member."

"Guest." I corrected her. Alice looked like she was about to argue that point with me. "Unless you want me to leave right now and not come back you won't try to force this."

"But..."

"Despite whatever you've 'seen', I'll make my own choices." I told her. "So if you want me to stay then don't try to force me to like it's a done deal."

Alice got that distant look again before letting out a sigh. "Fine. I can see that if I make you feel like I'm forcing you, you will leave. And I really do want you to stay. You will," She noticed my glare and quickly corrected herself. "Could have a good life here with us if you wanted to. I hope you choose too."

"Fair enough." I told her. "I did make an agreement with Esme to stay here at least long enough to learn how to handle being a vampire. After that it will depend on how I feel."

"I can work with that." Alice told me.

For some reason that worried me.

"Well everyone's waiting to see you." Bella said. "If you're comfortable with that."

"I think so." I said. "Go ahead of me and I'll follow in a moment."

Bella nodded and darted off with Alice just a step behind her. I could hear her talking to the rest of the household but chose to tune out what she was saying. Instead I looked at myself in the mirror and after a deep, albeit unnecessary, breath I headed out.

Once back out into the main room I stopped and looked at everyone. I noticed that all the vampires in the room were standing in pairs, with the exception of Bella and Edward who had their daughter with them. The shifters, Jake and Seth, were back at the table with fresh bottles of soda, bags of chips, and were also in the middle of making new sandwiches. I was a bit stunned that they weren't fat.

Edward let out a chuckle. "Actually this is a small meal for them."

"None of you business, leach." Jake said.

"Jake." Bella scolded him.

He just grinned at her.

"The wolves have a very high metabolism," Carlisle explained. "They need to eat far more then the average person in order to fuel their ability to change shape."

"How many wolves are there?" I asked.

"Seventeen." Jake told me. "Split into two packs. I'm one of the alphas."

"If just the two of you eat this much I'd hate to see the food bill for a backyard barbeque for all of you." I commented.

"They are epic!" Seth said. "Jake we need to have one again."

"I'll talk to Sam about it." Jake said then pointed at Seth's sandwich. "Are you gonna eat that cause I'm really hungry over here."

"Hey, you have one of your own, don't be stealing mine." Seth told him as he put the finishing touches on his lunch.

"I still say we should make them eat out of a bowl on the back porch." Rosalie said.

Jake mumbled an intelligible response around a mouth full of food. The only word I managed to make out was 'Blondie'.

"Jake don't talk with your mouth full." Bella told him.

"Come on." Rosalie said coming over to me. "Let's leave the dog and go show you to your room."

"What do I need a room for?" I asked. I didn't know much but I had picked up on the fact that I didn't sleep anymore.

"Just to store your stuff and give you a place to be by yourself if you want." Alice said joining us. "Just while you stay here and get things figured out."

I nodded my acceptance of that and followed them towards the stairs. I heard two others follow behind me and quickly turned to see Bella and Renesmee following as well. They led me up to the third floor and into a room on the south facing wall in the corner. There were a few chairs and a small bed as well.

"This used to be Daddy's room before he moved into the house across the river with Mommy." Renesmee told me. "Do you like it?"

I took a moment to look around the room before answering. I notice two of the walls were composed of windows and on the right was a second door next to a wall of various sizes of shelves.

"Needs a few personal touches but I think it's OK." I told her.

"That door is new." Bella said. "We rebuilt the wall out a bit and put in a closet for you."

"It was my idea." Alice said. "Every girl needs a good closet. We'll just have to take you shopping soon to fill yours."

I didn't exactly like the sound of that. But I was sure Alice would stick to our agreement.

"We'll give you a bit to get settled in now." Rosalie said.

"Thanks." I said.

"I'll be up to get you when it's time for the party." Alice said as she headed out.

"Party?" Rosalie asked. "What party?"

"Today is her birthday and we are going to have a party for her." Alice said from half way down the stairs. I'm sure everyone in the house heard her.

"Alright!" Emmett boomed out. "A party! Woo!"

I groaned. I hated my birthday. Not that it had ever been, or cause for, celebration before. I didn't know how to deal with this. Rosalie just shrugged and headed down the stairs. Bella rolled her eyes and followed calling for Renesmee to follow and let me have some time to myself.

Before she left Renesmee gave me a hug around my waist and looked up at me. "Don't worry, Aunt Michelle, Aunt Alice throws the best parties. You'll like it."

She darted off after the rest of the family before I could respond, not that I had a clue how to. I was well aware from having seen her that Renesmee might look like a child but she clearly was far more aware then a child would be. Yet at the same time I also had figured out that Renesmee had known only a family that loved her and that she spoke from the heart honestly.

I suddenly didn't know how to deal with her sudden adoption of me as a new Aunt. I was ready to fight tooth and nail against Alice and her visions, but I didn't know if I could fight Renesmee's easy acceptance of me as family. It made me less sure that I'd be able to walk away after I learned the rules of vampire life.

I filed it away in another part of my mind as I sat down and waited for Alice to come up and force me into a dress and down to a party for my unwanted birthday. As I sat there waiting I realized that with none of us needing to sleep that the party might just run all night. I had a feeling it was going be a really long night.


	4. Chapter 4: Adjusting

Authors Note:

Hey all. Time to move this story along. I know the chapters are a bit short, but I'm trying to give you enough to be satisfying and at the same time not bog you all down in reading it.

Chapter 4:

Adjusting

I had been right, I thought as I collapsed into a chair in my temporary room – the party had lasted all night. And it had been mentally exhausting. Which I found to be odd since physically I felt no more or less tired then the day I'd woken up changed.

It had been a good party. Alice had even gotten a cake. While the vampires couldn't eat it the wolves had been more than happy to for us. I'd gotten to meet three more of them too, members of Jake's pack. Quil and Embry, long time friends of his since before his change, as well as Leah, Seth's older sister, pack beta, and the only girl among the wolves. Quil and Embry didn't mind me much, so long as I didn't break the treaty, but Leah hated me for some personal reason she refused to go into.

Edward told me later that the wolves had their first shift only in response to the presence of vampires and that she blamed us for ruining her life, but that I'd have to ask her for the specific details. Given my own history I figured I would respect her privacy. And the look she had made me feel safer on the other side of the room from her.

There hadn't been any presents due to the short notice, but again I didn't care much. I was too caught up in the awkwardness of how warm and welcoming the get together was, Leah excepted, and often found myself at a loss as to how to respond the the cheerful atmosphere.

And now, with the sun rising, I had retreated to my borrowed room. I looked around and took more then just the passing look I had taken the day before. The room was a bit spartan. I felt it needed some color and different furniture.

Of course I had no sooner made up my mind about that then Alice showed up.

"At least you waited for me to make the choice myself first." I commented, not surprised at her arrival.

"Actually I didn't see this until just now." She said with smile. "You made the choice to do it at the same time that you considered it a choice at all."

I had to admit I was confused about that. "But don't you see the future?"

"I see the path someone is on while their on it. If you haven't even considered the path then I can't see it until you do." She explained. "I'll get Esme. She does interior design."

I gave her a confused look.

"We each have a... I guess you could call it a hobby. I do fashion, Edward is into music, Rose is into cars."

"Esme is into design. What about the others?" I asked.

"Carlisle collects art and rare books, Emmett loves sports, Jasper enjoys learning and games that involve a lot of tactics, and Bella has a large collection of books she reads."

"Well I don't have a hobby." I said.

"You will." She said. I glared at her. "I don't need my gift for that. We all develop one in time. Eternity would be very dull otherwise."

I considered the implications of that. "Eternity?"

"Vampires are immortal. We don't grow old or die of any natural cause. You have to destroy us with fire, otherwise we just continue on."

Lovely. I would just continue on and always be broken for the rest of my life. And that was looking to be a very long time. I'd already figured out that since becoming a vampire my mind had changed in such a way as to be unable to forget anything. I would be stuck remembering the horrors of my past until I was destroyed.

"So what would you like to do in here?" Esme asked interrupting my musing. I didn't startle this time. I'd learned to let a part of my mind keep track of what was happening around me even when I was deep in thought. It was handy how I could do that now.

"I'd like to make this into a place where I can come to read and study at all hours." I said. "Even if we don't get stiff or sore I'd still like it to have the feel of comfort for reading and learning."

"I have a few ideas that would be good for that. So you'd like to fill the shelves with books then?"

"I have a collection of books, or I had one. I don't know what happened to the house my Aunt left me during this last year while I was in the wilds." I said. "If it hasn't been looted, repossessed, or something else by now."

"Alice can find out for you and if it is intact we can bring your stuff here if you like." Esme offered.

"I think I should sell it if I still have ownership of it. It's down in southern Cali., and I've seen what the sun does to our skin. Why is that?"

"Have Carlisle explain that, he's made an effort to study it. But anything else for the room?"

"Yes. Can you paint the walls so it looks like sunrise in here?"

"Sure." Esme smiled at me. "And we'll help you out with the house. Whatever you do decide to do with it."

"Thank you." I said.

Over the course of the next week we got my room set up. My old house had been locked up by the police since my disappearance as part of the process of trying to find clues as to my whereabouts. The Cullens took care of it all and I did choose to sell it. I'd never be able to live there again, and it had too many bad memories tied to it as well.

My book collection was the only thing I'd kept from it and it now occupied the shelves where Edward had once kept his music collection. I'd sold the house and everything else in it and had accepted Alice's offer to invest it for me.

I'd been glad to learn that Edward had sound proofed his former room. I wasn't sure if it was to keep the sound of his music in, or the sound of his family out, but I was glad it was there being in a house with three happy couples that don't sleep at night. As long as I kept the door closed all sound was dulled enough to be ignored, even with my enhanced hearing.

My hearing being one of the many things I was now taking the time to adjust to. My other senses were taking some getting used to as well. I could smell well enough to identify someone by their scent alone. I could look out the windows and see clearly for miles.

But the strength, speed, and balance were the ones I kept pushing to the limits that first week with the Cullens. I walked down the stairs by balancing on just the banister one day, I didn't wobble once. Another day I leaped over the third floor railing, twisted three times, and caught it one handed and held my self there perfectly still and parallel to the rail with a fully extended arm. I didn't feel tired or stressed in any physical way from it and I didn't shake from the effort either.

Renesmee had clapped at the display, everyone else just smirked. They knew that I was testing my limits, Bella admitted that she had as well. I guessed they all had done the same at one point.

I went hunting several times that week as well. I was still recovering from my long fast after all. And one of the Cullens always came with me. I would have resented it but each time they taught me more about how to track the animals in the area and to use my senses.

But today I was in Seattle, with Alice and Bella. And it was anyone's guess if Bella or I wanted to be there less. Alice didn't seem to care as she dragged us to one clothing store after another. She did stick to my compromise, but that didn't seem to dampen her enthusiasm one bit.

"Alice, I told you no dresses." I reminded her as she tossed several over the door of the changing room I was in.

"They are for special occasions." She told me. "So try them on and we'll just hold onto them until you need them."

I ground my teeth. I hadn't forgot that part of our agreement. And I knew quite well that despite my resistance to dresses that they would all look good on me. Alice had seen it but my trying them on was her compromise with me not liking her forcing visions on me. If I tried them on I could at least pretend that it was my choice.

Bella was doing the same. I wasn't sure if it was that she wanted the appearance of choice or to make me feel better about the whole process, but her complains were completely her own and just as annoyed as mine. And she was making about as much of a dent in Alice's momentum as I was, which was to say none.

Thankfully I wasn't having trouble with the humans that were around. I was no longer starving and my intense desire to not be a monster allowed me to resist. They did seem to keep their distance from the three of us as we moved from store to store though.

Finished with the dresses I handed them back over.

"Well?" Alice asked.

"You already know the answer." I said with resignation. I figured at this point I might as well not fight this part of her gift. It would be useless anyways. "So why did I even need to come here?"

"You don't like me forcing things on you. I've seen that doing so will push you away and I'd rather not make you feel unwelcome." Alice answered.

"Fine." I knew she was right. "I'll make an exception for clothes. Just don't go overboard."

"I know. I know. Little changes, one small step at a time." She didn't quite hide the sound of a smile from her voice.

"Does this mean we can go home now?" Bella asked from the next booth over.

"Sure." Alice agreed. "I'll just comeback later on my own."

Good. I really wanted to get out of here. I quickly got dressed again in the jeans and designer shirt that I didn't feel too awkward wearing and pulled on the knee high black heeled boots that Alice had added in for today's little extra. I grudgingly admitted that I liked them, but I wasn't about to tell her that, and thankfully neither would Edward.

I walked out of the dressing room and paused as I saw Alice staring off into space with a blank look. What ever she was seeing I suddenly had a bad feeling about.

"Alice?" Bella and I asked at the same time.

"Come on we need to go to one more place." Alice said snapping out of it.

"What did you see?" Bella asked.

"Garrett just asked Kate to marry him. They'll be inviting us. We're going to need to get clothes for everyone." Alice said leading the way.

"Really?" Bella sounded excited.

"Yes. And you... can come too." Alice said looking at me. "If you do you'll have fun and get to meet some of our extended family."

"And if I don't." I asked pointedly.

"You'll stay home for a few days. Read some books, go hunting, and call us several times asking when we'll be back." She answered.

In short I'd get bored. But Alice was letting me decide instead of just saying I'd be going and I'd have fun. "How long do I have to decide?"

"The invitation won't arrive for a few more days and the wedding won't be until next month." She said looking forward in time.

"Let's get me something to wear just in case then. I'll compromise that far right now." I offered.

"You need to make sure that what ever you get for Renesmee it will still fit her then." Bella said.

"I remember." Alice said.

I knew what they meant. Even in the single short week I'd been here I'd noticed that Renesmee grew fast. I don't know if I'd have been as aware of it if I didn't have such good vision but it was very obvious to all of us that did.

"I won't have to try anything else on I hope?" I said.

"Nope. But you will have to wear a dress. If you choose to go that is." Alice told me.

I'd known. Alice seemed to want me in dresses as often as possible. I wasn't too keen on weddings, my parents were not an example that left me with warm fuzzy feelings about the institution, I knew they would fall under the 'special occasion' heading of my deal with Alice. I knew that if I chose not to go it would be due to my own experiences growing up and my warped experiences of what it meant to be a family.

The Cullens were doing their best to help me change that image, but a single week was not going to be enough time to make up for the sixteen years before I was shipped to my Aunt's. But it was enough for me to have decided to give them a chance to try. That and I still needed to learn all I could about being a vampire.

It didn't take Alice long to get to the store she wanted. I noticed immediately that there was very few dresses on display. A closer look showed that they were all the same size and that none of them were the same.

"Um. Alice?" I said. "None of these look like they'd fit any of us."

"They are display models of the different styles." She said with a laugh. "Everything here is custom made. I'll be ordering dresses for each of us specially for this. I will need to get you measured though. I won't know yours until you actually have it done."

Lovely. I was really not going to like this. "We've been trying on dresses all day and you don't know yet?"

"We've been trying on generic dresses and clothes all day." She said with a bit of distaste. "I can't wait until you two are comfortable wearing better stuff. I hate buying off the rack but you both fight me tooth and nail on anything else."

I shared a look with Bella. Neither of us seemed to see the problem with what we liked to wear, but clearly Alice did.

"Now come here and we'll get you measured and then I can order your dress." Alice ordered.

I sighed, not that I needed too but I'd been practicing human mannerisms all week and it seemed appropriate, and followed Alice to the back to be measured. Thankfully it didn't take too long and I didn't have to take too much off. The only comfort was that as a vampire my measurements would never ever change. I'd never have to do this again. It wasn't much but it was a small perk to this new life.

In short order Alice had dresses ordered for all the women and then called to another shop to get suits ordered for the men.

"If you could have called in the order why did we need to go in?" I asked once she hung up.

"To get you measured." Alice reminded me.

I hadn't forgotten getting measured but I did have a counter for her. "And you couldn't do that yourself back at the house?"

"Well we were already here." Alice said and then took off for the car. She didn't move any faster then what a human could at a run and I couldn't give chase. She'd clearly practiced not running too fast in public, but I hadn't. It was an effort to remember to walk at a human pace for me so running after her was completely out of the question.

"Alice you know we can't run after you." Bella said in a normal tone. The humans noticed just shook their heads and gave rueful half smiles, clearly assuming that Bella didn't yell because it was pointless to. The irony was they were right just not for the right reasons. Bella didn't yell because Alice would hear us anyways and not because yelling was undignified.

They also didn't find her comment too out of place due to us both wearing heals and Alice wearing flats. Not that we both couldn't run full out in a dense forest with out a problem but they didn't know that.

By the time we got to the car it was starting to rain and Alice was waiting for us. The few bags we did have she'd already placed in the trunk where they wouldn't get soaked. As soon as Bella and I were in the car Alice took off. The first time I'd been in a car with any of the Cullens driving was on our way here and for a brief moment I'd freaked out, then of course I'd noticed that despite how fast Alice was driving down the road that passed for their driveway I could easily run faster and had immediately calmed down. Once she hit the main road she'd speed up until I couldn't have kept up on foot but my enhanced eye sight was still up to the task.

But now that we were on the way back to the house something else occurred to me. "Alice? Aren't you worried about getting pulled over?"

"Nah." She downshifted, changed lanes, and flew past another driver so fast he might as well have been parked. "I know where all the speed traps are and where they would set up road blocks and just avoid them."

Her gift. Handy. I figured I'd get used to it someday.

"Hey, Emmett. There will be thunder later." Alice was talking on the phone while driving over two hundred. I added impressive reflexes and mental multitasking to my growing list of perks.

"Awesome." I heard his answer clearly. There was no such thing as a privet phone conversation with our hearing unless you put some real distance between us. Not a possibility in a car.

"I'm playing too this time." Bella said

"Even better." Emmett said. "I can't wait. Is Michelle joining us?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Baseball." Emmett answered. Another bonus of our hearing was any phone call might as well have been on speaker if we were in the same room, or car as the case might be.

"I'll think about it." I said.

"Alice?" He asked.

"You'll have fun if you do come. Even if it's just to watch us play." She said. "But Nessie's going to be there so the whole thing is hard to see clearly."

"I though you couldn't see her?" I said.

"I can't. That's how I know she's going to be there. A lot of it is blank." Alice said clearly still not happy about that.

"I'll think about it." I said again.

"Seriously?" Emmett complained from the other side of the phone.

"Yes. Emmett. Don't push your luck." I told him.

"We'll be home soon and I have some news for the family anyways." Alice said. "We can't go out till later tonight anyways so that gives her time."

"Fine, fine." Emmett said. "But you'll really be missing out if you don't come."

He hung up before I could answer back and Alice picked up speed. I knew that I'd probably end up going. All it would take would be for Nessie to ask. Thankfully Alice couldn't see if she would or not to know to encourage her to do so. And I wasn't going to let her know. Somehow Nessie was getting to me like no one else in the family could. Even after just one short week I had realized that it was hard for me to resist her charm. She saw me as part of her family and it was making it hard for me to keep myself objective.


	5. Chapter 5: Rosalie

Authors Note:

I know. It sure has been awhile. Life has been really rough for me this past year. Sorry for the long wait.

Chapter 5:

Rosalie

I did end up going to the game. Bella asked me. Nessie wanted to go but was still too small to play. So when Bella asked me to go just to sit with her and keep her company I agreed.

I found the game to be interesting, and exciting. Nessie spent the whole time explaining the rules and commentating for me. I found myself feeling happy for the first time, not something I was used to with how my life had been.

A few days later the invitation did arrive, just as Alice predicted, and we began to pick out wedding gifts for the new couple. I figured I'd send one even if I didn't attend, seemed polite.

In this way another week passed. I continued to hunt, and test myself more. Today found me laying on the couch listening to an I-pod Edward had gotten for me. I was finding that with my hearing I could pick out subtle tones and nuances in the music I'd have never noticed back when I was human. I was the only one home so I had a chance to indulge myself with this. Or so I thought.

"Michelle!" That sounded like Rose.

I sat up and looked around, pulling out the headphones as I did. I hadn't been paying much attention so it took her calling for me again for me to figure out she was in the garage. I headed out to see what she needed.

I found her underneath her car, tinkering with the engine no doubt, and leaned down to see what she needed.

"Good you're here." She tapped the side nearest me. "Put your hand here and lift."

"You want me to what?" I asked. Vampire or not that was a car. It was heavy, over a ton at the very least.

"Put your hand here and lift the car. I need to get a better angle on what I'm doing and I also need both hands free."

"You do realize how much a car weighs right?"

She put her hand on the underside where she'd told me to grab and lifted the car up to look at me. I just stood there stunned.

"Now put your hand here and hold the car up just like this and keep it at this height."

I reached down and grabbed the car next to her hand and held it as she let go. I was rather surprised to find that it was as easy to hold in place as lifting a dinner plate would be. As she worked I held the car up like a jack, I didn't get tired, strained, or sore. I didn't shake or need to change arms to let one rest. I just held it with ease.

"Ok. I'm done." Rose said as she slid out from under the car. "You can put it down now."

I lowered it gently to the ground. "Why do I feel like that should have been harder?"

Rose laughed. "Get in. Let's go for a ride."

Oh-kay. Never though Rose would be inviting me to spend more time with her but I didn't feel like seeing her get mad if I said no. So I walked around to the passenger side and climbed in. I'd barely gotten the door closed when Rose had the car turned on and was speeding down the driveway.

After having been on a few trips with the other Cullen's I was used to how fast they drove and just calmly watched the trees go by. I had no idea why Rose had invited me along, but I could wait for her to fill me in. I didn't have to wait long.

As we drove she told me her story. A life of privilege in a time of hardship, and the tragic ending that came for her just when she thought everything was going to be perfect. It was what came after that I had some trouble with.

"You killed them?" I accused.

"It was too soon after I was turned. I couldn't let go. I still can't. They're gone, I have Emmett, a good family, and a niece I adore, but I still hurt." She said.

I just stared at her, not sure how to answer.

"Tell me what you would have done if it had been you."

I thought about that. If I had been turned right after everything had happened to me, would I have wanted revenge? Would I have acted on the desire? I didn't know, but I felt I couldn't blame her for it. I still thought it was wrong though.

"I understand, I think. I still don't agree though." I admitted to her.

"I suppose that's fair." Rose sat silent for a while. "But my past is why I didn't get along with Bella for a while. I felt she was giving up everything I wished I could have back."

I chuckled at that. I could understand that one completely. If I could be human again I would do it. However, like Rose, I couldn't. I could only try and follow her example and try to build a new life for myself.

"So what changed to make you hate this less?" I finally asked her.

"The first part was when I found Emmett, and the second part was when Nessie was born. Emmett is just the kind of strong grounded guy I need, and while Nessie isn't my own child I love her all the same." She smiled as she said this. "Bella has the life I wish I could have, a husband that loves her and a child. It's all I ever wanted, and it's what they took from me that night."

Hearing it like that I understood. I knew what it was like to have something that could never be replaced taken from you by one who was supposed to protect it and you. Suddenly I knew, if I could go back to that night, as a vampire, I'd have done what Rose had done. I'd have killed, and I wouldn't have regretted it. I was glad enough time had gone past to let that desire fade.

But Rose was right, the pain didn't go away that easily. I had a feeling it never would.

"So where are we going?" I asked unwilling to continue down this trail.

"Nowhere in particular," Rose said. "I just figured we'd talk."

"Why?"

"I felt you needed to know that I understood, at least in some part, anyways."

I supposed that was true, in part. But I wasn't about to tell her how little a part that actually was. My life didn't just end in tragedy; the whole thing from start to finish had been one ongoing tragedy. Compared to all of that, these last two weeks had been paradise.

I leaned back and just stared off into the distance. I didn't say anything else for now. Eventually Rose headed back to the house. I would have to think some more about things, but I was glad she'd shared her story with me. I could understand now that it would be possible to move on from the past. It wouldn't be easy by any means, Rose's story clearly showed me that, but it had also showed me that if I wanted it I could change all that.

"Thank you, Rose." I said as we pulled back into the garage. "I think I understand what you wanted me to know. That it is possible to change things for the better."

Rose just smiled at me.

"So does this mean you are going to the wedding?" Alice asked from the door way.

I gave her a level stare, "I haven't decided yet."

"You should." Rose said. "You could use the experience to see things in a better light."

"I suppose you have a point." I conceded. "I'll think about it and decide in a few days."

I was looking at Alice as I said this and her expression became so carefully neutral I knew she'd seen something and was trying to not let me know. Probable because if I knew it would change my choice, a choice I still hadn't made yet as far as I was concerned. I climbed out of the car and headed back into the main house.

"Don't say anything, Alice." I warned her as I passed by.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Alice replied sweetly.

I stifled a groan. I suddenly felt that I could guess what she'd seen. I'd need that dress after all.

Turns out, I was right.


	6. Chapter 6: Alaska

Authors Note:

Hey all. Glad to see some of you are still with me after all this time. I am truly sorry for the excessively long delays between chapters. I wish I could promise they were over, but life is still too unstable for me to guarantee that.

Chapter 6:

Alaska

The wedding was scheduled for the first weekend of May, still a few weeks away, but things in the Cullen house were still a whirl wind of preparations. Dresses and suits needed to have final fittings done, gifts needed to be selected and purchased, and for those with commitments outside the house arrangements needed to be made for the absence. Though this wasn't as hard as I assumed it would be, aside from the paperwork Carlisle had to do at work for the time off.

Jake had the members of his pack sent over to the other alpha, Sam, for the time while we were going to be gone. The only exceptions to this were Seth and Leah. Seth was going to join us and Leah, though closed mouthed about her reasons, to me at least, refused to run under Sam. Bella just let her father know she was going to a friend's wedding – I was surprised she was still close to him after her change – and he not only wished her a good trip but asked if he should send a gift along too. Bella promised that she'd invite him over to meet me when we got back from the trip; I viewed this with a bit of trepidation due to my past.

A week before the wedding Alice headed out to help them finish getting things set up for the ceremony. Jasper, predictably, went with her to no one's surprise. The rest of us left a few days later. It was perhaps the first time I'd seen any member of the family actually drive slow, a fact due entirely to the dangers of driving on fresh snow.

I was a bit nervous once we arrived. I was barely used to the presence of the Cullens, I wasn't sure how I would handle being around others.

"Don't worry," Edward told me as we got out of the car, "The Denali's are like cousins to us. They'll respect your boundaries."

"That is if you can pry them away from Renesmee," Bella joked as Renesmee ran off eager to see our hosts.

"Edward, stay out of my head please."

"Good luck with that." Jake said as he followed Renesmee towards the house. "Come on, Seth. Let's see if they remembered to stock something for us non-bloodsuckers to eat."

"Come on in and I'll introduce you to everyone." Edward offered.

Sure, I thought and waited for him to lead the way. After a few moments of him just standing there waiting I looked over at Bella. A small smile was all the answer I needed, she was shielding me.

"Sure. Lead on." I said out loud.

Edward turned and led the way. Suddenly he stopped and looked over to Bella, "Later dear."

"You dropped your shield?" I asked her.

"I wanted to test if I could shield someone while dropping my own." Bella explained. "It's possible, but it's definitely going to take me a lot of practice to hold it reliably for longer than a second or two."

"But she can do it." Edward said with a type of smile I didn't recognize. "One day I hope to see if you can lift your shield for a whole night without having to focus on it."

"Edward. Bella. You'll have plenty of time for that later." Jasper called out from inside. His tone allowed me to figure out what Edward's smile, and comment, meant.

As I followed them into the house I heard Emmett snicker softly.

"Emmett." Bella said in such a sweet voice that I was glad it wasn't directed at me.

"The bet was only for me saying things; I'm still free to think what I want." Was his reply, it left me curious as to what bet they were talking about but I refrained from asking for now.

As soon as we entered the simple home I was impressed by how it mixed rustic simplicity with modern aesthetics. Nothing in the house was part of a matched set but it all was a perfect fit for the feel of the house.

In the center of the room talking with Carlisle and Esme were two blond haired female vampires.

"That's Kate on the left, and Tanya on the right." Edward told me. I filed that away in my mind and braced myself to not react in my usual way to their approach. I still had some issues with anyone getting close to me.

"Welcome." Tanya greeted me. "Alice has been telling us about you since she walked in a few days ago."

Not sure what that meant, but I just nodded. "I'm Michelle; I'm just staying with them for a while to learn the rules. I don't know yet if I'll be joining them as a permanent thing, regardless of what Alice says to the contrary."

"We've learned to just trust Alice when it comes to her predictions." Kate said. "She's never been wrong yet." She laughed a bit. "But she didn't say anything about you staying to us."

"That's because if I do she'll feel like I'm trying to force her and she'd leave immediately." Alice said as she all but danced into the room. "It's about time you got here. I hate not being able to see exactly what time you were going to arrive."

"Nessie and the wolves?" I guessed. "Speaking of which, where are Jake and Seth?"

"In the kitchen, which we've never used until now, going through what has to be a week's worth of human food." A dark haired woman announced as she walked in.

"Michelle, may we introduce our other sister, Carmen." Tanya said. "Her mate, and husband, is out in the back helping to finish getting things set up for the ceremony."

"Speaking of which, I need to borrow Kate for her final fitting." Alice proclaimed as she dragged Kate off to another room of the house.

"Come on." Jasper said from near a door to the back area of the house. "Come meet Eleazar and Garrett."

Great, I thought, more men. Edward laughed. "Bella, your shield is down."

"Woops, sorry about that," I heard from the same room Alice had dragged Kate into.

I gave up worrying about it and follow Jasper, at a small distance, out to the back. I had the most trouble being around him still. It was the scars, they just screamed out that he was dangerous, and I still hadn't gotten used to that.

That worry was cast out of my mind when I saw the last two members of the Denali clan. I heard but didn't much notice the introductions because Eleazar had frozen in place so suddenly on seeing me that he'd dropped the bench he was holding. Garrett quickly caught it and put it down before turning to inquire about what was bothering his soon to be brother-in-law.

"Are you sure?" Edward asked.

Eleazar snapped out of his frozen state, "Yes. I just don't know how to explain how her gift works. If Aro ever found out about her I doubt he'd even bother trying to make a pretense to claim her as his own."

"I think I can." Edward said. "I just need to check a few things with Carlisle first to make sure I have all the particulars correct."

Given our hearing I wasn't surprised much when suddenly everyone darted out to the back to hear about this. Part of my mind was still processing the news that I had a gift, and another part really wanted to know what this gift was.

"What in particular did you need to verify, my son?" Carlisle enquired as he stepped forward.

"The details of your study on how we can move," Edward said. "You mentioned that it had something to do with our venom."

"Yes. See all the fluids in our bodies change into a substance very much like the venom in our bites. This is necessary since during the transformation the carbon structures in the human body change to have more in common with the structure of gem stones. This is also the reason for the way sunlight reacts to our skin." Carlisle seemed happy to share his knowledge with us.

"Does this other type of venom also hold us together?" Edward asked.

"No. It doesn't. It just acts as a lubricant that allows us to move. In a way our cells are suspended in it. If there isn't enough I had theorized that we'd become immobile, Michelle proved me right on that one." Carlisle smiled.

"So that's how she can do it." Edward said. "She can manipulate this venom. I wonder what kinds of things she can do with it?"

I did too. I just had no idea how to actively use this so called "gift" of mine. How was I even supposed to activate it? Especially when I had no idea what I supposedly could even do with it.

"I think a catalyst might be necessary." Eleazar said. "If we can get her to instinctively activate her gift in a defensive manner that might help."

"I can do that," Kate said walking towards me.

"Kate, don't." Edwards said grabbing her arm. "Not like that at least."

I was confused by what was going on. Fortunately Edward decided to explain. "Kate has an offensive talent."

"It's a bit shocking to experience." Garrett joked. Kate playfully slapped his shoulder.

"Yes. I can generate an electric current over my skin. Anyone that touches me drops like a human that got hit by a Taser."

I backed up a few steps, away from Kate.

"Kate, keep it low and let her come to you." Edward suggested.

Kate smiled and held her hand out palm facing me. Her expression was challenging, daring me to take the risk. I froze in nervousness.

"It's ok. You don't have to do this." Edward said. "We can find another way."

No. I would do this. I stepped towards Kate and reached out, pausing for a moment just before making contact with her palm. I took a deep unnecessary breath, briefly noted that all the other expected reactions of nervousness weren't there, and then touched Kate's hand.

I felt a mild shock and jerked my hand back. Everyone was staring at me with shocked expressions.

"What?" There was no sound of my voice. What was going on? Did Kate's give render me mute or something?

"Amazing!" Eleazar breathed. "That's more than I thought could be possible."

"Could someone explain just what is going on?" Once again there was silence.

"I can't even pick up her thoughts." Edward said.

"Is Bella shielding her right now?" Alice asked. Bella shook her head. "Well I can't see her either."

"Hey don't talk about me like I'm not here," I silently yelled waving my arms in front of the group, or tried to. My arms weren't there, nor my hands, or any other part of me once I looked. I was just a pale mist. I could still see, how I didn't know, but apparently nothing else. Looking down I even saw my clothes in a pile on the ground.

I freaked out. What had happened? I tried to back up and found I could still move. It felt like I was drifting more than walking, and hurried towards the house. I briefly wondered how I was going to open the back door before I found I could just slip through the space under it. I paused for only a moment before drifting to a side room.

'Ok.' I thought. 'Think. You don't stay like this all the time so there has to be a way to change back. Of course, being solid is natural, maybe if I just relax.' I pictured myself doing just that. It helped when I thought of the things that calmed me: music, sun rises, Nessie.

I knew it had worked when I could once again hear myself breathing. A knock on the door caused me to jump; I was so out of it I had lost focus on what was going on around me. My mind had been entirely focused on what I had done. "Who is it?"

"It's me. I have your clothes."

Alice. I opened the door and let her in. She held out my clothes, they were neatly folded, and I took them and put them on a nearby counter. I wanted to try something first.

Now that I knew I could do it I focused on doing it deliberately. Alice's widening eyes was proof I'd succeeded. I reverted back and started to get dressed. Now that I was over my shock I couldn't help but be excited about having a gift. I followed Alice back out my mind racing over what else I could do with this.

I had just stepped outside again, ready to start asking Eleazar questions when Emmett spoke up behind me. "That was awesome." I was clearly still too distracted to notice others around me. I spun around and let out a started hiss at how close he was while dropping into a crouch and bringing my hands up to defend myself.

"Oh wow. Freddy Kruger, eat your heart out." Emmett said staring at me. He wasn't the only one.

My fingers had shifted somewhat. The first two parts had merged together and extended out about 6' and had become thinned out. The pads of my fingers had thinned out the most; they resembled a knife blade and looked to be very sharp. I focused for a moment and relaxed my left hand then I gently slid my index finger along its right hand counterpart. I gasped as it cut effortlessly into my left finger. I looked close as the injury sealed; the wound had seemed to mist a bit as it healed. I suddenly wanted to test just how effective this was.

"Michelle, I don't think that's a good idea." Edward warned picking up what I was thinking.

"What's she planning to do?" Jasper asked, finally joining in.

I didn't give Edward time to explain before I held my left arm out and swung my right hand at my wrist. I hissed as my hand was sliced cleanly off along with three clean sections of my wrist. Before anyone could raise an alarm or react the cut pieces dissolved into mist and rejoined my arm without a mark to show they'd ever been cut off in the first place. Cool.

"Aro must never, ever find out about you." Eleazar said again.

"I don't think he'd even bother trying to make it appear legal." Jasper said.

Alice's eyes were glazed over; staring at something only she could see. "He wouldn't."

"What was that other part?" Edward asked.

"We have a few more guests that are yet to arrive," Alice said. "But the Volturi heard about this gathering and have send Felix and Demitri to see what we are doing."

"What for?" Carlisle asked.

"He's worried we are making plans to attack him." Edward said. "But this time it should be easy to counter his plans."

"Yes! Of course, that'll work perfectly." Alice said.

"What?" I asked, tired of being left out.

"We let them sit in as guests to the wedding. Then when they go back to Italy all they can show Aro is that we were holding a wedding." Edward explained.

"Well then what are we waiting for," Emmett boomed out. "Let's get back to work."

Emmett's enthusiasm spread like a virus and soon even I found myself helping get things set up. I even got to practice using my gift to help cut ribbon to length. Jake and Seth called what I did with my hands "claws", and much like Renesmee's nickname the term caught on despite my trying to stop it. Bella was the only one to understand my frustration with that.

Later when Emmett went to give me a hug I finally let him. If he tried anything I could either turn to mist to escape or slice him up. I still didn't trust people, but I knew it would be easier to build trust when I knew that no matter what they did they truly couldn't hurt me unless I let them.

So for the first time in years I felt myself truly start to relax and found myself looking forward to the wedding this weekend. I was also starting to feel some eagerness to meet the other guests that would be arriving in the next few days.


End file.
